Distinguished readers of my blog,

Top o’ the morning to ya. It’s not morning, I’m not Irish and to make matters worse, I’m currently experiencing serious doubts about the geographical implications of the phrase.  Since I’m no authority on greeting etiquette, I wish simply to extend a friendly welcome to all prospective readers or even followers (I’m having one of those rare confidence highs, so please bear with me, I promise that by the end of this address my morale will be at level zero anew) of this blog. Before I lure you into the lexical pitfalls of my writing, I feel an obligation to warn the poor souls who may venture here that they can expect extensive referencing to Jane Austen’s oeuvre (after all, she is Wit personified), occasional paraphrasing from Tolkien (but only when I’m really in the mood) and a plethora of literary allusions (which is just a fancy way of saying I’ll try to look smart by throwing around Shakespeare’s name a lot). Of course, not everything will revolve around books even if they do represent the epicentre of my whole existence. I will try to insert as many embarrassing anecdotes from My Own Life (and trust me, there is no scarcity of them) that will make you feel infinitely better about Your Own Life (now try and top that – for some arcane reason I keep coming back to “top”). One last thought before I take the return ticket to Dreamland (unlike Hamlet, I feel no desire to “shuffl[e] off this mortal coil”). It is not so much a thought as it is a sort of an apology to all my friends who will feature in my mundane stories. Evidently, I decided not to share this little secret with them, so in case any of them find it by mistake (cousin Karma is, after all, a particularly vicious canine female), I promise I’ll change most of the names. Also, if you’re my friends, you should know not to file a libel suit against me because I, quite like the well-known rocker Bob Seger, “Ain’t Got No Money”. Enjoy and write to me maybe. (Please note the detrimental effects of listening to Canadian teenage pop music while doing the dishes.)

Good night;)